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Mitch3
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Posted: Wed Jul 8th, 2009 04:35 pm |
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okeepro wrote: To have the best solution, I guess I would need to know why the Okeechobee rate is double.
You can't stop teenagers who want to have sex. Parents who have influence and care have a better chance of making their kids be resposible about their actions. I would say the best way to stop teen pregnancy would be freely available birth control.
On the subject of pregnant students at school, schools are in the education business. All kids are entitled to an education, whether they have sex or not, whether they are pregnant or not. I think a student who is going to be a parent needs an education badly!
I don't see how pregnant students on a school campus harm anybody. If fact, I would think it would be more of a deterrent than anything.
Free birth control is offered in several places in Okeechobee County. I totally don't understand why the teenagers of Okeechobee don't take advantage of it!
I've seen girls who laugh over missing taking there birth control pills......the depo shot last four months but most girls don't want it because it makes you gain weight.
Of the pregnant girls I have encountered in Okeechobee , it seems the parents are the ones who throw a fit if the girl does not want to keep it. It seems anger gets the best of family's with comments like "that boy will have to pay child support and help take care of the baby" knowing full well "the boy" has no education, no job and very little chance of this changing. It's like a test of will with the parents automatically wanting to force the teenagers to do the right thing. I see little thought process in what happens AFTER the child is born.
In the majority of cases I have seen, the baby is used as a pawn to try and "change" the boy into take responsibility. I have heard girls say "I'm going to go out with (insert name here) to piss him off and get his attention. Usually that is followed up with "lets see how he likes so and so holding his baby"........and then they run to there myspace page to post pictures of a guy holding there child.
And, as old as time there are still the girls who get pregnant on purpose to try and "trap" the guy into staying with them.
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Razorback
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Posted: Wed Jul 8th, 2009 03:47 pm |
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| It does seem some of the pregnant teens are enjoying the extra attention and treat the baby as a fashion accessory. This does send the wrong message to other teenage girls when it appears it is no big deal to be pregnant and you can still do everything you want. Yet the pregnant girls should not be deprived of an education.
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photoshooter
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Posted: Tue Jul 7th, 2009 06:49 pm |
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Not when they wear their "baby pouch" like an ornament. it is not a deterent.
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okeepro
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Posted: Tue Jul 7th, 2009 04:47 pm |
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To have the best solution, I guess I would need to know why the Okeechobee rate is double.
You can't stop teenagers who want to have sex. Parents who have influence and care have a better chance of making their kids be resposible about their actions. I would say the best way to stop teen pregnancy would be freely available birth control.
On the subject of pregnant students at school, schools are in the education business. All kids are entitled to an education, whether they have sex or not, whether they are pregnant or not. I think a student who is going to be a parent needs an education badly!
I don't see how pregnant students on a school campus harm anybody. If fact, I would think it would be more of a deterrent than anything.
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TheGonzoJournalist
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Posted: Tue Jul 7th, 2009 03:54 am |
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mysteryman wrote: So what are the suggestions for solving the problem of the high teen pregnancy rates in Okeechobee? More education? Make birth control more easily available to teenagers? More scholarships and job opportunities for teenage girls to give them an incentive to put off pregnancy until after they establish a career?
Have uglier daughters. . . .
(That was an awful thing to say.)
(But funny.)
(True.)
Later days.
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photoshooter
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Posted: Mon Jul 6th, 2009 08:09 pm |
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After much thought. Spay and neuter.
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mysteryman
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Posted: Mon Jul 6th, 2009 08:01 pm |
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| So what are the suggestions for solving the problem of the high teen pregnancy rates in Okeechobee? More education? Make birth control more easily available to teenagers? More scholarships and job opportunities for teenage girls to give them an incentive to put off pregnancy until after they establish a career?
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TheGonzoJournalist
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Posted: Fri Jul 3rd, 2009 03:24 pm |
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Razorback wrote: I completely agree with the disco comment!
Oh no, what have I started? Is this going to turn into a disco trashing thread? But I actually like the Bee Gees!
Until we meet again.
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Razorback
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Posted: Fri Jul 3rd, 2009 03:02 pm |
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| I completely agree with the disco comment!
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TheGonzoJournalist
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Posted: Fri Jul 3rd, 2009 04:08 am |
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Razorback wrote: Gonzo journalist -- I am impressed that a teenager actually knows what gonzo journalism is! What's next "Fear and Loathing in Okeechobee"?
I was a teenager in the 1970s.
Sometimes when the teens who hang out at my house wonder if I will understand a problem, I say "I went to college in the 70s. Nothing shocks me .." And they always laugh.
What scares me is this. When I was a teen about the worst thing that could happen if you had unprotected sex is someone wound up pregnant. Now you can catch AIDS and DIE. There are treatments but there is no cure. That's the reality. You can't tell by looking at them who has HIV. They can have it and not know for years. We know from the health department stats that there are cases of HIV in Okeechobee. So if so many teens are being promiscuous that our teen pregnancy rate is double the state average, how many teens are being exposed to STDs?
Many, I'm sure, and that's part of the danger at the heart of the matter. Teenagers indulge, just as many do, disregarding the danger of pregnancy, a possibility which can be avoided not indefinitely, but they really don't give much consideration to STDs. Well, they do, it's been heaped upon us for years, but it seems like they've, for the most part, developed a devil may care attitude about it all, a very much if it happens, it happens attitude. There is no pill to prevent it, nothing to wear, no real form of protection other than simple avoidance of sex . . . but most don't care. Most teens I know give a shrug. If they know for sure a girl has something "wrong with her," they won't even think about sex; but if the possibility is good that she is clean, then the thought is disregarded and other issues are put in its place. This all sounds brutish, I'm sure, but it's the same with girls. STDs are a problem, I'm sure, but it's the fact that sometimes a person doesn't know--about anothers, about there own, about anyone's--that brings an element of fear.
Oh, and, yeah, you better believe you're talking to a true blue Thompson fan. I may be young, but I know good lit.
And to quote Hunter himself, "I feel the same way about disco as I do about herpes."
Later.
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Razorback
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Posted: Fri Jul 3rd, 2009 03:57 am |
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Gonzo journalist -- I am impressed that a teenager actually knows what gonzo journalism is! What's next "Fear and Loathing in Okeechobee"?
I was a teenager in the 1970s.
Sometimes when the teens who hang out at my house wonder if I will understand a problem, I say "I went to college in the 70s. Nothing shocks me .." And they always laugh.
What scares me is this. When I was a teen about the worst thing that could happen if you had unprotected sex is someone wound up pregnant. Now you can catch AIDS and DIE. There are treatments but there is no cure. That's the reality. You can't tell by looking at them who has HIV. They can have it and not know for years. We know from the health department stats that there are cases of HIV in Okeechobee. So if so many teens are being promiscuous that our teen pregnancy rate is double the state average, how many teens are being exposed to STDs?
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Meems
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Posted: Wed Jul 1st, 2009 04:05 pm |
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Abortions were illegal back then and most had to go to the back allelyl abortionist many times and suffered infections and loss of lives. However there were always doctors that would preform abortions if you just happen to know who they were and had the money.
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4string
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Posted: Wed Jul 1st, 2009 03:36 pm |
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Meems wrote: I think the reason you didn't hear so much about teen pregnancy back in the 60s and 70s was because most married
There were whispers behind backs when babies came early but there was not a lot of single moms.
I know alot left town to have the child too. Abortions were less taboo to some than letting every one know their teen was pregnant also.
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Meems
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Posted: Wed Jul 1st, 2009 03:32 pm |
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I think the reason you didn't hear so much about teen pregnancy back in the 60s and 70s was because most married
There were whispers behind backs when babies came early but there was not a lot of single moms.
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4string
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Posted: Wed Jul 1st, 2009 03:01 pm |
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TheGonzoJournalist wrote: 4string wrote: TheGonzoJournalist wrote: You know what I think? I think it's funny how you've all gone on about how terrible it is and how people need to get involved and do something about it; but the irony is that while you have all been fronting arguments and expatiating ideas on the computer, teenagers have been out having sex, almost throwing the entire concept of this forum into an ironic sort of slap in the face. Am I saying that you as individuals haven't done anything to stop it? Hardly. I'm simply stating the irony in the argument. It's like the kids that were divvying up cash for booze before Prom while the principal stood up at the lectern talking about the dangers of drunk driving. It's enjoyable in its own dramatic irony, because teenagers know the consequences of what they do full well; they may be stupid, but they ain't dumb. Ya hear? They realize and disregard. Just think about how many teens out there have done the dirty while you've typed out your emotional aggressions to the issue.
Irony.
At that age we all had the "It won't happen to me" attitude. When I was in my teens to mid 20s I was not just invincible I was invisible not only could you not touch me you couldn't even see me.
The "It won't happen to me attitude"? Sex is not something forced upon a person (and if it is, then we're looking at a completely different situation), and the resulting factors of that act are completely understood beforehand. It isn't that I feel I'm invincible, it's that I completely realize the situation at hand. And before you fly off the handle . . . no, I don't have sex, or, if you prefer, I am not "sexually active;" but the fact remains that we, as people, know the consequences but even still consider ourselves--or most do--sexual libertarians. The fact of moral upbringing and, in fact, religion (trust me, I know many a good Christian indeed who has unsheathed the sword) by most can be thrown aside for the mere Epicurean pleasure of it all. In fact, there are valid arguments stating that there's nothing wrong with indulging in such desires. The fact that teenagers have a natural inclination to sex is no different than adults having a natural inclination to it, the only difference is most adults have "partners" with which they can identify. Despite the religious aspect of sex, it's silly to say that I or any other even semi-learned teenager has the "it won't happen to me attitude," because most have the full realization that it can and will happen to them, given time and circumstance.
How do you stop this epidemic? You don't. We live in a world where sexual activity is a given, and there is no taking that back now. It is up to the individual whether or not they will proceed or wait until marriage, and I can almost guarantee you, given modern circumstances, if you were a teenager again, chances are your libertarian system of thought--or lack thereof--would be more open than it is now.
Let me remind you, I am not propagating either argument, just laying down the words of a teenage mind.
Ta-ta.
Well said... I was relating my own attitude during my teen years that being some time ago true I do not know the attitude of today's teens. I was a teen during the 70s we were having unprotected with out any cautions It is amazing the teen pregnancy rate was not much higher. Maybe it was but was more hidden then.
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TheGonzoJournalist
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Posted: Wed Jul 1st, 2009 03:23 am |
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Razorback wrote: Teens think the "adults" don't understand them and don't know what they are going through.
Surprise -- we were once teenagers!
"It seemed like a good idea at the time," sums up a lot of mistakes I made as a teenager.
I sometimes wonder how I survived my teenage years at all.
My parents were very strict and at the time, I thought they were out of date, overbearing and unreasonable.
Now looking back on it, I thank God that I had them.
And I thank God my parents also survived my teenage angst.
Agreed. Some things don't change--angst, for one--but the situation the world is in does, and with it its understanding of moral platitudes. If you were a teenager in the late '60s, ideas like free love wouldn't be so radical to you; they practically invented sexual libertarianism. But if it was the '50s it would be unheard of! And today we, as teenagers, are presented with sex idols by way of the media, through television and movies and music. But, here's the thing--who produces these movies? Who makes these TV shows? There are no eighteen-year-old kids sitting around in their basements saying, "Hey, guys, lets make this movie about this guy, and he'll have sex with a bunch of women, and we'll show it all, and, best of all, it'll star Jessica Alba!" even though they'd like to. Why doesn't this happen? Because it is the adults with the $30 million budget plans. Blame the media, blame nature, blame whatever you like--but you have to admit, beyond any form of misunderstanding, that the world is not so black and white as sex is wrong, don't have sex, and, I was a teenager once, I understand you completely. Because you don't. You understand a lot, no doubt, but not everything. You were a student once too, I assume, but that doesn't mean you can teach me Calculus.
Ta-ta.
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TheGonzoJournalist
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Posted: Wed Jul 1st, 2009 03:02 am |
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4string wrote: TheGonzoJournalist wrote: You know what I think? I think it's funny how you've all gone on about how terrible it is and how people need to get involved and do something about it; but the irony is that while you have all been fronting arguments and expatiating ideas on the computer, teenagers have been out having sex, almost throwing the entire concept of this forum into an ironic sort of slap in the face. Am I saying that you as individuals haven't done anything to stop it? Hardly. I'm simply stating the irony in the argument. It's like the kids that were divvying up cash for booze before Prom while the principal stood up at the lectern talking about the dangers of drunk driving. It's enjoyable in its own dramatic irony, because teenagers know the consequences of what they do full well; they may be stupid, but they ain't dumb. Ya hear? They realize and disregard. Just think about how many teens out there have done the dirty while you've typed out your emotional aggressions to the issue.
Irony.
At that age we all had the "It won't happen to me" attitude. When I was in my teens to mid 20s I was not just invincible I was invisible not only could you not touch me you couldn't even see me.
The "It won't happen to me attitude"? Sex is not something forced upon a person (and if it is, then we're looking at a completely different situation), and the resulting factors of that act are completely understood beforehand. It isn't that I feel I'm invincible, it's that I completely realize the situation at hand. And before you fly off the handle . . . no, I don't have sex, or, if you prefer, I am not "sexually active;" but the fact remains that we, as people, know the consequences but even still consider ourselves--or most do--sexual libertarians. The fact of moral upbringing and, in fact, religion (trust me, I know many a good Christian indeed who has unsheathed the sword) by most can be thrown aside for the mere Epicurean pleasure of it all. In fact, there are valid arguments stating that there's nothing wrong with indulging in such desires. The fact that teenagers have a natural inclination to sex is no different than adults having a natural inclination to it, the only difference is most adults have "partners" with which they can identify. Despite the religious aspect of sex, it's silly to say that I or any other even semi-learned teenager has the "it won't happen to me attitude," because most have the full realization that it can and will happen to them, given time and circumstance.
How do you stop this epidemic? You don't. We live in a world where sexual activity is a given, and there is no taking that back now. It is up to the individual whether or not they will proceed or wait until marriage, and I can almost guarantee you, given modern circumstances, if you were a teenager again, chances are your libertarian system of thought--or lack thereof--would be more open than it is now.
Let me remind you, I am not propagating either argument, just laying down the words of a teenage mind.
Ta-ta.
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photoshooter
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Posted: Wed Jul 1st, 2009 01:36 am |
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I consider it one of the 7 wonders of the world that my parents still speak to me after all I put them through.
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Razorback
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Posted: Tue Jun 30th, 2009 10:53 pm |
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Teens think the "adults" don't understand them and don't know what they are going through.
Surprise -- we were once teenagers!
"It seemed like a good idea at the time," sums up a lot of mistakes I made as a teenager.
I sometimes wonder how I survived my teenage years at all.
My parents were very strict and at the time, I thought they were out of date, overbearing and unreasonable.
Now looking back on it, I thank God that I had them.
And I thank God my parents also survived my teenage angst.
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4string
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Posted: Tue Jun 30th, 2009 08:08 pm |
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TheGonzoJournalist wrote: You know what I think? I think it's funny how you've all gone on about how terrible it is and how people need to get involved and do something about it; but the irony is that while you have all been fronting arguments and expatiating ideas on the computer, teenagers have been out having sex, almost throwing the entire concept of this forum into an ironic sort of slap in the face. Am I saying that you as individuals haven't done anything to stop it? Hardly. I'm simply stating the irony in the argument. It's like the kids that were divvying up cash for booze before Prom while the principal stood up at the lectern talking about the dangers of drunk driving. It's enjoyable in its own dramatic irony, because teenagers know the consequences of what they do full well; they may be stupid, but they ain't dumb. Ya hear? They realize and disregard. Just think about how many teens out there have done the dirty while you've typed out your emotional aggressions to the issue.
Irony.
At that age we all had the "It won't happen to me" attitude. When I was in my teens to mid 20s I was not just invincible I was invisible not only could you not touch me you couldn't even see me.
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crazyone
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Posted: Tue Jun 30th, 2009 07:07 pm |
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| kids are going to do what they want to do! if you tell demand that they not do it, then they will go and it behind your back. this is how i was raised....my mom told me i don't want you to have sex. if you decide to please come talk to me and i will get you on birth control pills and i will get you condoms. she was not telling me to go and do it. she was allowing a chance for me to trust her and feel comfortable talking to her about it. i didnt lose my virginity until i was 19. i never wanted to have sex. trust me i had tons of peer pressure. most kids want an adult that will talk to them about stuff...not be so strict on them that they are afraid to crap or they might get in trouble. i just ask you to try and keep the trust and closeness and you shouldn't have a problem.
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photoshooter
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Posted: Tue Jun 30th, 2009 04:13 pm |
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Sounds like our house when ours were young. Keep up the good work, it will pay off then and now for all of u. There s nothing to compare to a loving surrounding for children. It teaches them how to live an love, isn't that what home is?
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Razorback
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Posted: Tue Jun 30th, 2009 04:09 pm |
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| In this society, parents are fighting an uphill battle. The permissive attitudes towards sex are everywhere. You have to stay on top of what the children are seeing on television and on the internet. With TV, if you have cable or satellite, the channel blocking option is great. With the internet, the best suggestion I have heard is to keep the computers in the family room. Do not allow the kids -- especially those under the age of 16 -- to have computers with internet access in their bedrooms. If they are going to surf the web, they should not be looking at anything they would be embarassed for the parents to see. Are kids going to be exposed to these things anyway? Probably. But the parents need to know about it and be there to discuss it and answer questions. Don't try to be your child's friend. They have plenty of friends. They need parents. My house has strict rules and all young people who are in my house must abide by those rules. And yet, it's still a popular place for my children's friends to hang out. Maybe that is because they know they are welcome. They know we will listen to them if they want to talk to someone. And we keep feeding them -- real home cooked meals, not junk food. They are also somewhat fascinated by the concept of a nuclear family with a mom and a dad are married to each other, and who don't have any ex-spouses or children with anyone else.
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photoshooter
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Posted: Tue Jun 30th, 2009 02:33 pm |
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How about Chastity belts and mandatory football "cups"? and a chaperone for good measure.
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flsr
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Posted: Tue Jun 30th, 2009 12:56 pm |
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The fact is that the sex urge is stronger than any moral teachings. It shouldn't be, but it is. Look at the adults in the news lately for their immoral acts. They have responsible positions of trust in our society, but still they err. They certainly are aware of the consequences when they take their chances with adulterous practices.
I believe the only way you can prevent the kids from getting into trouble is to keep them away from the opportunities, and it's practically impossible to do that in todays society. Another way is to get the girls on birth control practically from the time of their first . Then there is the risk of what being on birth control for years and years may do to a person. I believe there are unknown risks that haven't been discovered yet. The kids surely wouldn't appreciate chaperones every time they leave the house, but what else is there?
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horselover
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Posted: Tue Jun 30th, 2009 11:22 am |
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photoshooter wrote: I hope this does get to the school board, because they could get on with education, of readin, ritin' rithmetic, and not sex ed., if they knew how several citizens felt about this issue.
Make the parents responsible for little Jane and Johnny, not the school..
We spend so much time and $$ trying to get it right, when the root of it starts at home.
Why are these little darlings at home alone? Nuttin' to do, and having babies???
Where are the family established morals?
Where are the consequences?
No wonder they think like they do, there are not enough consequences for actions.
I agree 100%, everything starts at home, a bad upbringing can lead to a severe downfall in some lives, there is a reaction for every action, but the problem is the kids know the reaction will not be harsh due to the laws, punishment now infringes on there civil rights, or its abuse which is non-sense, the kids now days could not survive what some of us endured as kids nor could they even grasp the concept of the old days, if parents took more time with there children and explained life a little better insead of waiting for the school to do it, it might have a drastic change in the right direction
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TheGonzoJournalist
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Posted: Mon Jun 29th, 2009 07:28 pm |
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You know what I think? I think it's funny how you've all gone on about how terrible it is and how people need to get involved and do something about it; but the irony is that while you have all been fronting arguments and expatiating ideas on the computer, teenagers have been out having sex, almost throwing the entire concept of this forum into an ironic sort of slap in the face. Am I saying that you as individuals haven't done anything to stop it? Hardly. I'm simply stating the irony in the argument. It's like the kids that were divvying up cash for booze before Prom while the principal stood up at the lectern talking about the dangers of drunk driving. It's enjoyable in its own dramatic irony, because teenagers know the consequences of what they do full well; they may be stupid, but they ain't dumb. Ya hear? They realize and disregard. Just think about how many teens out there have done the dirty while you've typed out your emotional aggressions to the issue.
Irony.
Last edited on Mon Jun 29th, 2009 11:49 pm by TheGonzoJournalist
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Razorback
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Posted: Mon Jun 29th, 2009 07:03 pm |
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| In Biblical times having babies at 13 or 14 was common that is true -- but so was being married at that age. I don't recall any Bible passages against girls of 13 being married, but there are passages against unmarried persons having sex. At the time, in order to marry, a man had to show his prospective in-laws that he could support a wife and family.
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4string
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Posted: Mon Jun 29th, 2009 06:49 pm |
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photoshooter wrote: Whether I could or could not , by the courts, have the child given up for adoption, I can tell u my 16 year old children were so scared, they were not in the position of trying it out, to find out.
Yes, scare tactics, yes it worked for us. I did not want an illegitimate baby, no father present, and a financial burden, a hindrance to my children's education, and the additional problem of then finding a mate later in life who would lovingly accept a child.
So, whatever it takes to prevent the problem, in your family, go ahead.
These kids who think it is cute or becoming to have a baby, need to understand God does not approve of it, the family is not ready for it, and there will be consequences. There must be boundaries, somewhere.
It is my job as a Mother to enforce these boundaries. I am the parent who leads and guides, and if necessary enforces.
It is no different than if they were going to touch a hot stove, "this is going to hurt, so don't".!
In Biblical times being peagnant at 13 was common. You were an old maid by 18. Where in the Bible does it say that God does not approve? Have you ever read this Bible you speak so much of? You sure know a lot of things God thinks that no one has never heard of. You remind me of a friend of mine that is always quoating lines from movies and songs and never gets them right.
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photoshooter
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Posted: Mon Jun 29th, 2009 03:04 pm |
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I hope this does get to the school board, because they could get on with education, of readin, ritin' rithmetic, and not sex ed., if they knew how several citizens felt about this issue.
Make the parents responsible for little Jane and Johnny, not the school..
We spend so much time and $$ trying to get it right, when the root of it starts at home.
Why are these little darlings at home alone? Nuttin' to do, and having babies???
Where are the family established morals?
Where are the consequences?
No wonder they think like they do, there are not enough consequences for actions.
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waboc
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Posted: Sun Jun 28th, 2009 02:31 pm |
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| I agree with those of you who think this is a parent issue. The school system has enough to do. Teen pregnancy is the result of many issues, most of which happen at home. It is a religious, cultural, moral, and parental issue. It is not a public education responsibility.
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horselover
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Posted: Sat Jun 27th, 2009 04:51 am |
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Iwas put on birth control at 16 even thou I was not active sexually, get this after taking it for 24 hours I ended up in the ER ., we come to find Ihad a severe allergy to the main ingredient in it, heck I was still 27 before I had my daughter, its called being very careful, and there is stuff for the responsible person , that is not in pill form and is 92% effective, still good ODDS,
I do agree with Dawg and DIva, my house my rules, dont like it move, thats why my 19 year old lives with his g-friend
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Thedesigndiva
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Posted: Fri Jun 26th, 2009 09:53 pm |
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Razorback75 wrote: Not to be indelicate, but it's not just on the girls to practice safe sex. The boys can and should be involved in that -- and should never rely on the girl. After all, most birth control methods that rely on the girl alone do not prevent the spread of STDs.
Razorback..I understand what you are saying , but in one case my son who WAS interested in a young lady here in town , she doesnt believe in birth control and WONT let a man wear a condom during sex...HHMMM....... needless to say the son is just FRIENDS with her.
Diva 
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Razorback75
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Posted: Fri Jun 26th, 2009 09:34 pm |
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| Not to be indelicate, but it's not just on the girls to practice safe sex. The boys can and should be involved in that -- and should never rely on the girl. After all, most birth control methods that rely on the girl alone do not prevent the spread of STDs.
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Thedesigndiva
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Posted: Fri Jun 26th, 2009 06:23 pm |
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After reading all of these posts , I can see both sides of the coin here. I know when my husband and I were raising our sons , we explained to them that for every action there is a reaction.
We also explained that the life they were enjoying at the time would cease to exist IF they had a baby at a young age. I , as MOM also explained that I WAS NOT going to sacrifice my lifestyle to accomodate them having a child at a young age..
My oldest son waited till he was in the Corps to have his child only to not live to see her birth. While there were problems associated with him not being here and not being married to the mother at the time of his death , his "little" brother saw firsthand how difficult it was to have a baby in the house. I think that experience alone scared him...LOL LOL..
So even today at the age of 25 Robbie IS NOT prepared at this time to have a child , married or not. He will not date girls who do not believe in contraception practices . Seems that most girls here in town do not practice safe sex. I find that disturbing especially in 2009. So many more choices than our generation had available to us growing up !!! 
With regards to SouthernDawgs remarks... I tend to agree with him on most counts. Even today my son who is 25 is back living at home. He MUST abide the rules of the house while living here. No girls can spend the night...Bedroom dr to be opened at all times except for when dressing.. and YES I still monitor his use of MY computer...If he doesn't like the rules, he can move.....
So in closing , I have no easy answers for the parents of teens these days. It's tough out there and hopefully with fingers crossed these kids will see the errors of their ways and THINK before they play....
Best of luck to all.....
Diva
Last edited on Fri Jun 26th, 2009 06:25 pm by Thedesigndiva
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AvaL
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Posted: Fri Jun 26th, 2009 02:57 pm |
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photoshooter wrote: Whether I could or could not , by the courts, have the child given up for adoption, I can tell u my 16 year old children were so scared, they were not in the position of trying it out, to find out.
Yes, scare tactics, yes it worked for us. I did not want an illegitimate baby, no father present, and a financial burden, a hindrance to my children's education, and the additional problem of then finding a mate later in life who would lovingly accept a child.
So, whatever it takes to prevent the problem, in your family, go ahead.
These kids who think it is cute or becoming to have a baby, need to understand God does not approve of it, the family is not ready for it, and there will be consequences. There must be boundaries, somewhere.
It is my job as a Mother to enforce these boundaries. I am the parent who leads and guides, and if necessary enforces.
It is no different than if they were going to touch a hot stove, "this is going to hurt, so don't".!
How do you know God doesn't approve of it?
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photoshooter
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Posted: Fri Jun 26th, 2009 02:44 pm |
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Whether I could or could not , by the courts, have the child given up for adoption, I can tell u my 16 year old children were so scared, they were not in the position of trying it out, to find out.
Yes, scare tactics, yes it worked for us. I did not want an illegitimate baby, no father present, and a financial burden, a hindrance to my children's education, and the additional problem of then finding a mate later in life who would lovingly accept a child.
So, whatever it takes to prevent the problem, in your family, go ahead.
These kids who think it is cute or becoming to have a baby, need to understand God does not approve of it, the family is not ready for it, and there will be consequences. There must be boundaries, somewhere.
It is my job as a Mother to enforce these boundaries. I am the parent who leads and guides, and if necessary enforces.
It is no different than if they were going to touch a hot stove, "this is going to hurt, so don't".!
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AvaL
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Posted: Fri Jun 26th, 2009 05:02 am |
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Southerndawg wrote: AvaL wrote: photoshooter wrote: At 16 I told my kids, do not under any circumstances get pregnant or get someone pregnant. Because I WILL NOT raise a baby for you or with you until you are married.
If you do get pregnant, God forbid, the baby will be put up for adoption. and for the rest of your life u will b looking for it.
Guess what. no out of wedlock babies and we have many children over the age of 20
We do have one grand child, the mom and dd were married first.
Yes, get strong , yes get tough, and it will scare the little "darlings".
You can not force a child to give their own child up for adoption. You can scare them into it, or threaten them to prevent pregnancy, but in the end if it happens, you can not force them to give their child up. Not to mention, that what has worked for you, does not work for anyone, and this county has a huge problem, therefore something else needs to be done.
Like hell we cant. If said child is under age and living in their parents home and they are supporting her yes they/we have the right to have the baby put up for adoption. until that child is 18 she will obey her parents whether she likes it or not. The whole problem was started by you friggin liberals and your stupid idiotic ideas that a child didn't have to obey their parents and their parent couldn't discipline them they way they see fit. I dont believe in a parent beating a child and they should punished if they do. God gave us a ass to be busted when we got out of line as kids thats why it has the extra padding. Y'all liberals are destrying this country with y'all's ideals!!!! Its y'all liberals fault the kids are they way they are today
Dawg
You try going to a judge and telling them you have the right to tell someone else, even your own child, that they HAVE to give their child up for adoption. YOU are not allowed to make that decision. YOUR signature would not be on those papers. You can not force your child to do that, but like I said, you can threaten them, and scare them into it...if that is the kind of moral teachings you follow. As far as blaming the liberals (what a HUGE surprise), Clinton set in motion a decline of teen pregnancy. But you wouldn't know anything about that.
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horselover
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Posted: Fri Jun 26th, 2009 04:40 am |
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What happened to the good ole days when they showed you a movie of the pain the girls endure and all the nasty issues that come with it, maybe if they go back old school on a few things it might help, there modern day antics dont seem t be doing any good,
In science this year 7th grade we had to sign a permission slip for the kids to see how the female and male anatomy works, my 13yearold came home and said it was the most disgusting thing she had ever seen, I stated just keeping thinking that way and you wont have anything to worry about lord knows the world cant handle another her (jokingly)
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Southerndawg
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Posted: Fri Jun 26th, 2009 04:32 am |
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newsie wrote: I don't think dawg knows the definition of socialist.
Socialist really didn't belong in that reply, out of habit I guess. Every time I think about liberals. Socialist just comes to mind, that's not a bad thing is it. Liberalism is just another way to spell Socialism.
Dawg
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newsie
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Posted: Fri Jun 26th, 2009 03:49 am |
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I don't think dawg knows the definition of socialist.
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Southerndawg
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Posted: Fri Jun 26th, 2009 03:17 am |
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AvaL wrote: photoshooter wrote: At 16 I told my kids, do not under any circumstances get pregnant or get someone pregnant. Because I WILL NOT raise a baby for you or with you until you are married.
If you do get pregnant, God forbid, the baby will be put up for adoption. and for the rest of your life u will b looking for it.
Guess what. no out of wedlock babies and we have many children over the age of 20
We do have one grand child, the mom and dd were married first.
Yes, get strong , yes get tough, and it will scare the little "darlings".
You can not force a child to give their own child up for adoption. You can scare them into it, or threaten them to prevent pregnancy, but in the end if it happens, you can not force them to give their child up. Not to mention, that what has worked for you, does not work for anyone, and this county has a huge problem, therefore something else needs to be done.
Like hell we cant. If said child is under age and living in their parents home and they are supporting her yes they/we have the right to have the baby put up for adoption. until that child is 18 she will obey her parents whether she likes it or not. The whole problem was started by you friggin liberals and your stupid idiotic ideas that a child didn't have to obey their parents and their parent couldn't discipline them they way they see fit. I dont believe in a parent beating a child and they should punished if they do. God gave us a ass to be busted when we got out of line as kids thats why it has the extra padding. Y'all liberals are destrying this country with y'all's ideals!!!! Its y'all liberals fault the kids are they way they are today
Dawg
Last edited on Fri Jun 26th, 2009 04:10 am by Southerndawg
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pops
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Posted: Fri Jun 26th, 2009 01:11 am |
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OkeeNarnie wrote: I am 57, my youngest child is 32.
When my kids were teens I told them I hoped they would wait until they were old enough to accept the responsibility of their actions. I followed that up with IF you are in a relationship and you believe you are approaching the point where you will become intimate please let me know so I can make sure you have the means to protect yourself. (This of course was prior to condoms being available for free/next to it almost everywhere, or young females able to obtain the regular pill or the morning after pills without Mom knowing.)
It worked 50% for us.
One of mine decided she wanted marriage at 17. I said NO your too young. So they got pregnant. Had to get the courts permission to marry under age 18 in Massachusetts. They were blessed with two sons.
One of mine got married at 24 and was blessed with a son a year later.
As parents your best bet is try to give the best advice and pray...pray lots!
Amen!!!
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OkeeNarnie
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Posted: Thu Jun 25th, 2009 11:32 pm |
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I am 57, my youngest child is 32.
When my kids were teens I told them I hoped they would wait until they were old enough to accept the responsibility of their actions. I followed that up with IF you are in a relationship and you believe you are approaching the point where you will become intimate please let me know so I can make sure you have the means to protect yourself. (This of course was prior to condoms being available for free/next to it almost everywhere, or young females able to obtain the regular pill or the morning after pills without Mom knowing.)
It worked 50% for us.
One of mine decided she wanted marriage at 17. I said NO your too young. So they got pregnant. Had to get the courts permission to marry under age 18 in Massachusetts. They were blessed with two sons.
One of mine got married at 24 and was blessed with a son a year later.
As parents your best bet is try to give the best advice and pray...pray lots!
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newsie
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Posted: Thu Jun 25th, 2009 11:15 pm |
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photoshooter wrote: At 16 I told my kids, do not under any circumstances get pregnant or get someone pregnant. Because I WILL NOT raise a baby for you or with you until you are married.
If you do get pregnant, God forbid, the baby will be put up for adoption. and for the rest of your life u will b looking for it.
Guess what. no out of wedlock babies and we have many children over the age of 20
We do have one grand child, the mom and dd were married first.
Yes, get strong , yes get tough, and it will scare the little "darlings".
We call this a recipe for back alley abortions.
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AvaL
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Posted: Thu Jun 25th, 2009 11:12 pm |
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photoshooter wrote: At 16 I told my kids, do not under any circumstances get pregnant or get someone pregnant. Because I WILL NOT raise a baby for you or with you until you are married.
If you do get pregnant, God forbid, the baby will be put up for adoption. and for the rest of your life u will b looking for it.
Guess what. no out of wedlock babies and we have many children over the age of 20
We do have one grand child, the mom and dd were married first.
Yes, get strong , yes get tough, and it will scare the little "darlings".
You can not force a child to give their own child up for adoption. You can scare them into it, or threaten them to prevent pregnancy, but in the end if it happens, you can not force them to give their child up. Not to mention, that what has worked for you, does not work for anyone, and this county has a huge problem, therefore something else needs to be done.
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photoshooter
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Posted: Thu Jun 25th, 2009 11:08 pm |
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At 16 I told my kids, do not under any circumstances get pregnant or get someone pregnant. Because I WILL NOT raise a baby for you or with you until you are married.
If you do get pregnant, God forbid, the baby will be put up for adoption. and for the rest of your life u will b looking for it.
Guess what. no out of wedlock babies and we have many children over the age of 20
We do have one grand child, the mom and dd were married first.
Yes, get strong , yes get tough, and it will scare the little "darlings".
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AvaL
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Posted: Thu Jun 25th, 2009 10:59 pm |
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newsie wrote: photoshooter wrote: Maybe someone will learn by example.
Learn by example that you should become pregnant and then give your child up for adoption?
Yeah...this makes absolutely no sense. What do we do, teach adoption education instead of sex education?
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AvaL
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Posted: Thu Jun 25th, 2009 10:58 pm |
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An old article from Okeechobee News stated that 126 girls were pregnant under the age of 18 in 2007. A new article out this week stated that although the rate of teen sexual activity has remained the same, contraceptive use has declined. (http://lawprofessors.typepad.com/reproductive_rights/2009/06/teens-are-less-likely-to-use-contraception.html) And it is well known that abstinence only education does not teach about contraceptives, Has been increased in the US (although in really recent years it is being discontinued) and when I attended Okeechobee High School, it was not mentioned. How can you expect kids to use it, if it is never even brought up.
Then there is the fact that the majority of kids feel embarrassment when talking to their doctor and parents about contraceptive use, and when picking it up from the pharmacies.
So, we have a huge rate of teen pregnancy in this county. Abstinence only education has not helped this rate. What do you expect the county to do? Ignore it?
Last edited on Thu Jun 25th, 2009 10:58 pm by AvaL
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newsie
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Posted: Thu Jun 25th, 2009 10:55 pm |
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photoshooter wrote: Maybe someone will learn by example.
Learn by example that you should become pregnant and then give your child up for adoption?
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